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I was looking forward to his visit. I even hummed tunelessly as I watched over supper. I was going to make an appetizer salad but would wait until closer to time for him to show up. It wouldn’t wilt but freshly cut and pulled salads always tasted better to me. I mixed up a vinaigrette for it using a recipe that I had found years ago. I put it in the fridge to chill.I realized that I was spending a lot of time on this meal for a casual dinner. I began to wonder how casual it really was. I shied away from that thought. I thought to myself, “Just let it be. If things are going to be good, they will be. If they don’t go good, then I have only lost a little time.”It was six thirty and time for me to make my salad, put the final touches on everything, and remove the apron. Then, I could sit calmly for a moment. Everything was ready, the table was set, and I was cool, calm, and collected as the saying goes.The doorbell rang. I panicked for an instant. Without hurry or delay, I went to the. You say that, but do you really mean that? I don’t think you do for the simple reason I don’t think a lot of people have ever been angry. True anger is dark bloody emotion that most people won’t admit to feeling. I do. Even if they admit to feeling it to themselves they won’t explore it or share it with others. Part of my growing process was learning to accept that I am capable of, not just in theory, but in actuality of the most horrific things that any human that has ever lived has done. I am also capable of the good. Every bit of it from child cannibalism to saving the whales is part of being human. I am human.My wife works. One morning this last week as I was driving her to work I saw an old couple sitting on their porch the next block over. All I could think and feel was I HATE YOU! I didn’t know those people. I had never seen them before that moment, but I hated them with every fiber of my being because they were old and I’m not going to be. If I could have killed them and.
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